“Mr. Lee,

I need to speak with you urgently.”

A message arrived from the mother of a woman in the United States who was preparing for marriage.

When messages like this arrive, they rarely bring good news. Something had clearly happened.

“They're asking my daughter to sign a property waiver.

She’s not marrying him for his money.

How could they even ask for something like this?”

Her frustration came through the phone.

The man's family had asked her daughter to sign a prenuptial agreement before the wedding.

The woman had graduated from a prestigious university in Korea and was also very attractive.

The man was the eldest son of a family worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He was being prepared to inherit the family business.

The woman had only recently immigrated to the United States and still held traditional Korean values.

The man, however, had grown up in America. His Korean was limited, and his way of thinking was thoroughly American.

To his family, a prenuptial agreement was perfectly natural.

To the woman's family, it was different.

'If they're marrying for love, how can they already be talking about property?'

In the United States, however, prenuptial agreements are far from unusual. Stories about celebrities signing prenups frequently make the news.

Love is one thing.

Property is another.

That way of thinking is common in American society.

I told her mother,

'I understand why this feels offensive.

But in the United States, prenuptial agreements are fairly common.

Especially in wealthy families, people often prepare for possibilities they hope will never happen.'

She replied,

'But they're preparing for divorce before they're even married.'

I answered,

'From their perspective, it's wealth built over a lifetime.

It's understandable that they want to protect it.'

'So should we simply accept all of their conditions?'

'No.

You should propose your own conditions as well.'

There was a brief silence.

'What conditions?'

'If your daughter signs the agreement, include these three conditions:

First, no adultery.

Second, no domestic violence.

Third, no emotional or psychological abuse.

Only if these three conditions are honored should the property waiver remain valid.'

She paused.

Then her tone changed.

'That makes sense.'

I thought so too.

If there is no infidelity, no violence, and no emotional abuse, the reasons for a marriage to fall apart become much smaller.

In the end, both families accepted each other's conditions.

Moments like this help me understand why men from wealthy American families often find choosing a spouse so difficult.

At the same time, I cannot help but feel sorry for them.